Today in Gear: Pants Made from Lululemon's New Fabric, How Patagonia Wants to Save Our Planet & More - gearpatrol.com |
- Today in Gear: Pants Made from Lululemon's New Fabric, How Patagonia Wants to Save Our Planet & More - gearpatrol.com
- No One Has Worn Pants All Semester – The Stute - The Stute
- J-Lo Makes a Case for Low-Rise Pants in a Cropped Hoodie & Trending Combat Boots - Footwear News
- Dockers Mid-Season Sale takes extra 50% off dress pants, more from $15 - 9to5Toys
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| No One Has Worn Pants All Semester – The Stute - The Stute Posted: 01 Oct 2020 11:58 AM PDT A recent survey sent out to all virtual-only students has revealed that exactly 0 people have worn pants to any Zoom class during the entire semester. "It just feels so freeing," said one student in a call where they absolutely refused to stand up. "Hold on, my microwave just finished." The student then crawled out the door with their legs out of the frame of the camera before crawling back in holding a plate of freshly-cooked chicken nuggets. "Sure, my legs get a bit cold sometimes, but that's the price I have to pay to let these puppies breathe." The student then gestured downwards, and we can only assume that he was talking about his legs. The results of the survey have shocked and disgusted the Stevens administration, who has famously been extremely pro-pants in the past. "It's a disgrace that our students are not taking their education seriously," said one official speaking from behind a podium. "Pants are a time-honored tradition at Stevens—indeed, they are the bedrock upon which our school was founded! Edwin A. Stevens started his engineering empire with a patent to create the ultimate pair of pants! Unfortunately, the patent was rejected by over 14 regulatory agencies, including those idiots at NASA, so we will never experience the true luxury of the Perfect Pants. These students are making a mockery of Edwin's decades-long study of the most optimal knee!" The official became so heated that they stepped out from behind the podium, revealing their Stevens-branded underwear to all of the reporters. Before the official could recover, the president's dog Martini, sensing weakness, started trying to bite the official's underwear off in a much less adorable and much more rabid version of that sunscreen logo with the girl. While the vast majority of pantslessness goes unnoticed and unreported, there have been some unfortunate accidents as the trend has gained popularity. These accidents are usually the result of standing up, moving the camera down, or absent-mindedly singing "I'm not wearing any pants" to yourself when your mic was on. One freshman didn't quite get the point of the whole "virtual-only" part of the situation, and went to an in-person class wearing nothing but what God gave them plus a suit jacket. Not to be overly mean to that freshman, but several students did have to go to CAPS after that class. One faculty member even got caught with both their metaphorical and literal pants down when they went up to the whiteboard to write their name in overly large letters on the first day of class. "I can still hear them laughing," said the unnamed professor in a Zoom call of just his legs to prove that he was wearing pants. "Ever since that day, I've been wearing as many pairs of pants as I can fit before I cut off all circulation to my legs. I'm wearing twenty belts right now, and they're all so tight that my waist is two inches wide!" The professor, being the same general shape as a top, then fell over and caught his numerous tightly-bound belts on the side of a table, releasing his stick figure legs from their pantaloon prison. The professor, now unfortunately pantsless yet again, flopped on the floor like a fish for a bit whimpering while our interview team quietly closed the call. We here at Off the Press can certainly sympathize with 100% of the student population: no one working for Off the Press has worn a pair of pants since 1973, and even then it was only the result of an unfortunate mixup at the dry-cleaners. Although we would never want to show other people our New York Times-themed underwear, we stand behind not wearing pants to online school as a proud American tradition. We don't stand too close behind it, mind you, but we stand a healthy distance behind.  |
| J-Lo Makes a Case for Low-Rise Pants in a Cropped Hoodie & Trending Combat Boots - Footwear News Posted: 01 Oct 2020 12:45 PM PDT  Jennifer Lopez made a case for a very early 2000s trend in her latest Coach campaign. The brand ambassador helped debut a new bag in her first-ever collaboration with the label; her special-edition Jennifer Lopez x Coach Hutton bag features mixed shades of pink and burgundy with snakeskin detail. The crossbody design retails for $495 and is available now at Coach.com. Giving a behind-the-scenes look at the shoot, Lopez's stylist Rob Zangardi shared a full-body view of her outfit matched to the new bag; the look included a cropped logo-coated hoodie with $895 low-rise leather joggers from the brand. On her feet, the "Hustlers" star modeled all-black combat boots, a trending footwear silhouette amongst a growing revitalization of 1990s trends. Seen on the likes of everyone from Kylie Jenner to Machine Gun Kelly, the utilitarian-style shoe is here to stay for fall '20. As for Lopez herself, her set of boots bears resemblance to Coach's Lorimer bootie; the design laces up smooth leather uppers with gold hardware detailing and a chunky rubber lug-sole finish. The all-black iteration of the silhouette retails for $250 at Coach.com. Watch on FNAs for the "On the Floor" singer herself, it was just earlier this year when Jennifer Lopez dipped her toes into a new pool: the footwear industry. Though she had previously worked with a mix of brands on collaborations and campaigns, the JLo Jennifer Lopez collection at DSW is the musician's first solo line; the label includes a variety of stylish footwear ranging from sky-high platforms and glittering pumps to strappy sandals, all retailing from $59 to $189. As if all of her titles were not enough, the past few seasons alone, Jenny from the Block also has been featured in three major spring '20 campaigns. She models for Versace, stars in ads for Guess and Coach on top of serving as a judge and executive producer for "World of Dance." She also teased a new J-Lo Beauty line earlier this season as well. Click through the gallery to see more of Jennifer Lopez's wow-worthy style moments over the years.  |
| Dockers Mid-Season Sale takes extra 50% off dress pants, more from $15 - 9to5Toys Posted: 01 Oct 2020 08:10 AM PDT  The Dockers Mid-Season Sale takes an extra 50% off select styles with promo code HALFOFF at checkout. Inside this sale you can find great deals on dress pants, button-down shirts, jackets, and much more. Customers receive free shipping on orders of $75 or more. Our top pick from this sale is the men's Alpha Iron Free Khaki Pants that are marked down to just $25. To compare, these pants were originally priced at $60. This style is sure to elevate your everyday look and they're available in a grey color that's very versatile. They're also infused with stretch for comfort and promote movement. Plus, the fabric is moisture-wicking. Be sure to head below the jump to find the rest of our top picks from Dockers.
Our top picks from Dockers include:Also, be sure to check out Levi's latest sale that's offering up to 50% off denim to refresh your wardrobe. FTC: We use income earning auto affiliate links. More. Subscribe to the 9to5Toys YouTube Channel for all of the latest videos, reviews, and more!  |
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